|As Alter Ego Jones|
There was shock in absolutely no quarters today as pint sized, baby faced, pain in the arse activist Owen Jones was exposed as Greta Thunberg.
The, in hindsight blatantly obvious, discovery was made half an hour ago by Satire Editor in Chief Tam Laird while munching a bowl of corn flakes and lazily perusing the internet in bed.
"I was lazily perusing the internet in bed, looking for porn as usual, in the interests of journalistic research naturally. I began trying to type in Greta Milos the "actress" but, embarrassingly. before I knew what was happening there were loads of fully clothed pics of the stunning and brave Swedish wunderbrat Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg . I was wiping milk and cereal off my computer screen. Disappointing to say the least. It was at that moment I put two and two together and realised who "she" really was. When you think of it, you've never seen those two together."
The Satire caught up with the 35 year old lefty gobshite Jones on his way home from a BLM Transgender vegan basket weaving workshop and confronted "him" over the deception.
"How DAAAAaare you" he snarled at our reporter. "I identify as a 17 year old Swedish schoolgirl and as my Marxist principles are perfectly in line with modern environmentalist dogma there's no deception involved. Now get out of my way you bigot I have to finish my homework"
But BBC political grandee Andrew Neil hit out..
"For fucks sakes had I have known that we could have saved time and a fortune by not having to grill the cunts separately."
Owen Jones is a twat.