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                                  Fourth Reich Promotions
                                               Present...

                David Irving
                    + Support

                            Screwdriver

                                       Nordic Thunder

                                                    Jim Davidson

                                                   Nick Griffin  cancelled



See David perform a selection of his greatest hits live including old favourites such as...

            "Holocaust? What Holocaust?"

                   "6 Million Mein Arsch"

         " Hitler, Goering, and Himmler were all at   a stag do in Ibiza at the time"                                             

                Don't miss the brand new numbers..

          "Ok, there might have been a few accidents at Auschwitz."

                              "Geez a Job"

...........and the very touching.. 

              "any chance of a tenner gov?"

                   
         Glasgow  19th December








                                           
                                     

                      

Scottish Feminists Appoint Parrot as Spokesperson

Ms MacCaw posing for the press yesterday

Scottish Feminist group SWAMT (Scottish Women Against Man Things)announced the controversial appointment of their new spokesperson yesterday. An Amazon Blue parrot.

Ms. Davina MacCaw (49) takes over from previous spokesperson Trisha MacFrigid(fuck off or al stab ye), after she got a good bunneting from a Masai warrior on a recent charity climb of Kilimanjaro in aid of tit cancer, and married him. Mrs. Kisioki, as she is now known, was unavailable for comment, as she is not allowed to speak for her first year as junior wife and was busy getting circumcised.

Ms. MacCaw made her first statement to assembled journalists at noon today and immediately confounded her detractors. Talking from a perch outside Hollyrood..

"Squaaawk screeeetch squaaawwwk." Began Ms. MacCaw to gasps of amazement. She continued eloquently.. "Screeetch..patriarchy....squaaawk rape culture.... screech.. domestic violence.. screech screech male privilege. (Flap flap) Squaaaaawwwwwk wage gap."

Rapturous applause erupted as the parrot stopped squawking and nibbled a cuttlefish. Many women present burst into tears.

"That was the most articulate and emotionally charged presentation of feminist theory I have ever heard. Sobbed Xena MacHarridan(still NOYFB) leader of the women's group. We have certainly made an intelligent choice in Davina."

Women's issues chunterer onner Kaye Adams(52, yes fucksakes she looks older) chimed in..

" I couldn't have made those points better myself. Mair screeching and squawking are what's needed in any discourse about gender issues. Amazon Blue. How apt."

SWAMT did not have it all it's own way. Our very own Tom Laird asked the parrot to justify some of it's comments.

"Could Ms. MacCaw explain why she is still pedalling the wage gap myth that has been so thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, and don't men experience domestic violence?" He asked smugly.

The smug look disappeared however when the parrot merely repeated the same points over and over again. Only louder and with more screeching and squawking. 

The gathered feminists orgasm ed simultaneously as our man could only look on exasperated. 

Unemployment to Rocket Among Experts If Scotland Leaves UK Claim Experts

Some experts looking gravely concerned earlier

Thousands of experts will find themselves on the unemployment scrapheap, and forced to go door to door voicing their opinions if Alex Salmond breaks up the UK according to some experts yesterday.

"It could really be the worst case scenario you could possibly imagine." Said one expert over the phone earlier today.  Professor David Donaldson of Napier University continued gravely.

 "You may end up with a multitude of experts walking the streets accosting passers by, begging for spare moments of their time, to expound to them their latest thoughts on the economy, climate change, gender issues, and other subjects that most people will find tedious and ill thought through. Or then again they might not. It's a tough one to call. What are you asking me for? I'm in charge of the Creative Writing course."

Another expert, Francis Douglas PhD of SCAPEGOAT (Society for the Concern And Protection of Experts Going On About Things) outlined the potential seriousness of the situation.

"Allow me to outline the potential seriousness of the situation." He said pointing at a pie chart and some graphs. "At the moment experts are being consulted on a daily basis, sometimes up to six times, about what a pile of shite an Independent Scotland will be, or not, depending on who's asking. Our projections show that after Independence this kind of consultation will drop off to almost nothing. Disastrous. Probably. But don't quote me on that." He concluded feeding all his charts through a shredder.

The Satire caught up with some experts, who'd previously confidently claimed Gordon Brown to be an economic genius of a man who would romp to victory at the last general election.

 Prof John Turner of the British Antarctic Survey, currently trapped in sea ice he said shouldn't have been there, aboard the Akademik Shokalskiy, told us via a crackly line.

"Listen, smart cunts. I only said that about Gordon Brown down my local pub, ok. Yes yes everyone thinks it's easy being an expert. All they think we have to do is pull some stats out our arse, mumble some vague academic shite and use a lot of modals like could, might, probably, possibly. Fling in the odd phrase about 'studies suggest', and Robert's yer dads brother. Well it's a lot more difficult than that, I can tell you to my fucking chagrin mate."