Saturday, 31 March 2012

George Galloway SPEAKS! Satire EXCLUSIVE!

Speaking to The Satire yesterday, noble humble leader and voice of the common people, George Galloway (peace be upon his name) talked movingly about the next mountain he is set to conquer.
" It has been a great victory here in Bradford. A noble victory, a humble victory, a victory for the common man against the hordes of Babylon who have invaded the citadel of our noble yet indefatiguable proletarian heartland.
" But it does not stop here my friends, comrades, admirers and potential funding sources for future foreign jaunts ...
"For too too, and indeed, too, long, the Galloway household has been under an oppressive regime, a totalitarian dictatorship, a fiendishly manipulative yet indefatiguably powerful force. I speak of course of my wife - Mrs George Galloway.
"My cigar-smoking, loud shouting and bombastic tirades of long, unnecessary, indefatiguable and often grammatically incorrect sentences have already been banished from the sitting room during both Eastenders and, indeed, Coronation Street.
"And my friends, I am sad to report that I now cannot even pronounce upon my soapbox in the kitchen whilst waiting for the kettle to boil or for one of my beloved Poptarts to heat up.
" But no longer my friends, no longer. For with the sweep of momentum that this historic, noble, humble and indefatiguable victory has brought asunder, the popular might of the people shall be brought down upon this tyranny, And be in no doubt - it shall end!
"First we shall take back the sitting room. Next, the spare room and the kitchen. Then the top floor study, ground floor study, library, guest room and main first floor conservatory.
"Then it is merely a small step to retake the East Wing - not literally of course, its actually a 10-15 minute walk and three flights of stairs. But there is an antique fainting couch one can rest on to view the lake near the main stables half-way up.
"But once this part is captured and re-occupied by the people ( in the form, of course, of my good, moustachioed and noble self) then we shall have another historic victory under our belts my friends - and the proletariat will ... once more ... have spoken ...
"Viva La Revolutionae! And God Bless Bristol - sorry, Bradford."