Saturday, 10 October 2009

Obama Wins X Factor Bombshell!

Every cunt and his dog, including The US President, and Bo were completely bamboozled to discover that the leader of the free world was this years X Factor Winner.

"I'm completely Obamaboozled by this", said the White House's 44th incumbent before an equally flummoxed press corps. "For the life of me I can't even remember taking part. Nevertheless I accept the award on behalf of myself and the American people and pledge to continue winning prizes for competitions that I have not entered. God Bless Amnesia."
Asked how the fuck this could have happened by the rest of the X Factor's over confident egotistical twats, creator and host Simon Cowell explained." We realise that Mr. Obama can't sing, dance or stick a weird object up his cock, and fully appreciate the actuality he didn't get to the final or even enter or take part in any way. But the fact remains he is just the kind of guy who would win it if he had any talent or was in any way inclined towards doing any of those things. He has all the right ingredients. He is dynamic, black, confident, black, a Democrat, black and of course to top it all off he's black. Anyway have you seen his stand up comedy? It's better than Lenny Henry any day."
A spokesman for the republican party Rep. Dwight D.Donaldson III, hit out. " This is horse shit. He never even auditioned for the damn show for criminy's sakes. How could he possibly have the balls to stand up there and take the credit. Next thing you know they'll award him the Nobel Peace prize for sending 40'000 extra troops to Afghanistan."
Mr. Obama was unavailable for further comment as he was accepting the Nobel prize for Chutzpah.


Anonymous said...

If they can give Yasser Arafat or Gerry Adams a Nobel Peace prize then anything can happen.
That said, Simon Cowell was not impressed with mein hilarious Nick Griffin impression, though Dani Minogue was creaming her knickers.

Yours disappointed

A. Hitler


charliemingles said...

im impressed youve even heard of simon cowell sir. Still, readin ACTUAL stories on this tinpot site takes me back to the old days.

Tom Laird said...

Of course I've heard of him. I remember him well as the posh Jeffrey Fairbrass in the "hilarious" Hi-de-Hi.

Never missed an episode...if only to masturbate guiltily over Ruth Madoc's fat arse in shorts.

Antony Sammeroff said...

This slander is clearly racially motivated. Barack can't only sing with the voice of an angel and dance like Michael Jackson, he can do no wrong ever while doing it.