Turkey Refuse To Apologise For Bumming Lawrence

T.E Lawrence able to sit down six weeks after the  incident

Turkey have caused international outrage by refusing to apologise for the bumming of Lawrence of Arabia during WW1.

"This really is a scandal and a disgrace."Claimed Foreign Secretary William Haig earlier today. "In my view there should be no further attempt to integrate Turkey into the EU until they make an unreserved apology for this affront to Britain and good taste."

Lawrence, played by the recently couped Sir Peter O'Toole in a brief interlude of sobriety, was captured by Turkish troops while reconnoitring the town of Dara'a in which he was subsequently beaten and bummed by the Bey. An incident the Turks merrily, and mercilessly, turned into a popular song to the tune of Stephen Foster's The Camptown Races. Lawrence was unable to ride a camel for two months after the event.

The Turkish government were unrepentant and indignant however.

"We certainly will not apologise for this. In fact if you mention the incident once more to us we will bum even more British officers in future." Raged Mehmet Ali Bongo. Minister for Flagrant Disregard.

Former soldier, historian and Lawrence biographer Michael Asher commented.

"You have to understand that to the Turks Lawrence facilitated the attack. Wandering around in nothing but a bed sheet in a town garrisoned by a well known race of bummers. They reckon he was asking for it. Obviously I disagree. I think they are victim blaming here.

The international furore continues.