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| Ms MacCaw posing for the press yesterday |
Scottish Feminist group SWAMT (Scottish Women Against Man Things)announced the controversial appointment of their new spokesperson yesterday. An Amazon Blue parrot.
Ms. Davina MacCaw (49) takes over from previous spokesperson Trisha MacFrigid(fuck off or al stab ye), after she got a good bunneting from a Masai warrior on a recent charity climb of Kilimanjaro in aid of tit cancer, and married him. Mrs. Kisioki, as she is now known, was unavailable for comment, as she is not allowed to speak for her first year as junior wife and was busy getting circumcised.
Ms. MacCaw made her first statement to assembled journalists at noon today and immediately confounded her detractors. Talking from a perch outside Hollyrood..
"Squaaawk screeeetch squaaawwwk." Began Ms. MacCaw to gasps of amazement. She continued eloquently.. "Screeetch..patriarchy....squaaawk rape culture.... screech.. domestic violence.. screech screech male privilege. (Flap flap) Squaaaaawwwwwk wage gap."
Rapturous applause erupted as the parrot stopped squawking and nibbled a cuttlefish. Many women present burst into tears.
"That was the most articulate and emotionally charged presentation of feminist theory I have ever heard. Sobbed Xena MacHarridan(still NOYFB) leader of the women's group. We have certainly made an intelligent choice in Davina."
Women's issues chunterer onner Kaye Adams(52, yes fucksakes she looks older) chimed in..
" I couldn't have made those points better myself. Mair screeching and squawking are what's needed in any discourse about gender issues. Amazon Blue. How apt."
SWAMT did not have it all it's own way. Our very own Tom Laird asked the parrot to justify some of it's comments.
"Could Ms. MacCaw explain why she is still pedalling the wage gap myth that has been so thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, and don't men experience domestic violence?" He asked smugly.
The smug look disappeared however when the parrot merely repeated the same points over and over again. Only louder and with more screeching and squawking.
The gathered feminists orgasm ed simultaneously as our man could only look on exasperated.
3 comments:
I was a fan of Ms MacCaw. She's colourful and says what is on her and other people's minds. However, I heard that in person she can be both loud and very rude and demanding, particularly when it comes to crackers.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year Thumps. Nice of you to SWOOP past.
Being loud rude and demanding were among the foremost requirements for the position of spokesperson of SWAMT.
Dear so-called Satire.
As an African grey parrot(google it)
I am writing to say how disappointed
I am with both yourselves and SWAMT at this blatant example of speciesism.
We Grey parrots may not have the, to quote Monty Python,beautiful plumage of the Amazon Blue, but we make up for it in other areas. For example our African-ness. I have yet to recieve one reply from SWAMT. Is it coz I is Grey? Or male?
Katanga!
Winston Papagayo
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