Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Labour Party to Re-Launch Ed Milliband

                                                           Mr. Milliband before (left) and after (right) the re-branding

The Labour party has unveiled their "New Look" Ed Milliband exclusively to The Satire.
After a six month consultation process with PR gurus Wanky&Wanky costing £1,000,000 per month the leader of the opposition will now be re-launched as Eddie Megabland TM. Tarquin Wanky, co-director of Wanky&Wanky explains.

"If you look at the before and after photograph closely you can see how much work went into this re-branding process. On the Left you can see Ed looking a bit useless and bewildered and so last administration. Thanks to a new tie and a trim, in the photo on the right you can see the new dynamic Eddie looking all focused and Dave Camerony and stuff. We think we have a winning formula in the new look Eddie."

Together with the new look the team have come up with some hip new slogans for the launch.

"Megabland the Megabrand."

"He's Mega, he's bland, he's Megabland."

"Now with 33% extra bland it's MEGABLAND!"

are just some of examples of what's on offer. Asked whether or not the public would be fooled into voting for someone just by repackaging them as more conservative, Mr. Wanky replied.

"Why not? It worked for Tony Blair."

Shown the before and after photo's, regular rent-a-quote for The Satire Maureen MacGlinchie of Parkhead said.

"Who's that posh looking tosser? He looks a complete twat!"

On being told it was the leader of the Labour party Miss MacGlinchie said he'd definitely get her vote as her Mum always voted Labour.

If the re-launch is a success the team plan to re-brand Ed Balls by ironing his shirt and calling him Edward Bollocks.



Anonymous said...

I find the Idea of all this style over content malarkey laughable.
It's all about the product. PRODUCT! PRODUCT! PRODAAAAAAACT!!!
If you have a good product you can't fail. No matter what the stylists say.

Sir Alan Sugar



Anonymous said...

Listen ya wee bastard!

Am auld enough tae remember when the Tory's took the weans milk aff them in the schools.
The Labour party is fur the workin man. No that av ever worked ye understand. But av heard aboot folk workin. An whoever they ur. The Labour party is for them.
These Tory's will start a war.


Jack McConnell

The Pub


Anonymous said...

If It's style over content you want. I've got it in spades.
Giz a job.

Robert Kilroy Silk