Wednesday, 4 September 2013

"I'm Pissed Off With Being Mistaken for Coulthard!" Says Bloke off of Ferrero Rochet Advert



That German bloke off of the 90's Chocolate commercial has remarked that he's right fucked off with being confused with the Desperate Dan chinned British racing driver.

Wolf Kahler(73) the 6'2 actor who played a Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark told The Satire.

"Ich bin right fucked off mit zis. We are not even der same age fur fucksakes. It's embarrassing. Someone will ask me for mein autograph then say 'you look much younger on the telly Mr. Coulthard'. Gott in Himmel!"

Mr. Kahler from Kiel in Schleswig-Holstein who played a Nazi in Band of Brothers, blitzkrieged on..

"Ich wouldn't mind if it only went that far occasionally but it seems to be every other week now. Ich habe to avoid any motor sport related activities. Ich was delighted to be invited on Top Gear last month only to realise zat zey had made der same mistake. Schweinhunde!"

Wolf who played a Nazi in The Sea Wolves alongside Gregory Peck and Roger Moore stormed...

"It's getting beyond ein joke. Das final straw came when Michael Schumacher smashed his trolley into me in a supermarket in Koln then punched me in mein box shaped coupon. Before I could explain he'd knocked me clean out. Der twat! This would never have happened if Germany won the war. Seig Heil!" He thundered.

Kahler who acted the part of a Nazi in The Remains of The Day alongside Anthony Hopkins is set to play a Spanish transsexual prostitute in an upcoming David Lynch movie.*

*We apologise for the above inaccuracy. Wolf Kahler will be in fact playing the part of a Nazi in the upcoming sequel to Iron Skies.


Anonymous said...

I think you will find that Mr. Kahler and Mr. Coulthard are in fact father and son.
Kahler met Coulthard's mother at a secret meeting of The Illuminati in a remote castle in Bavaria in 1970.
Wolf was playing he part of a Nazi in a play put on to entertain George H Bush and HRH The Duke of Edinburgh. Coulthard's mother provided refreshments at inteval where she met the boxheaded actor. The two had a whirlwind romance that lasted all night. The affair ended when David's mother refused to countenance the idea that Lizards from outer space were controlling the world.

D. Icke

An Hospital

Anonymous said...

That's fuck all,

I constantly get mistaken for that total arse Tam Laird.

Sir Ben Kingsley

Six feet under a swimming pool


Anonymous said...


Think you have problems mate.
People keep confusing me with that Spanish bloke on "Mind Your Language" off of the 70's.


Rt.Hon.Professor Lord Robert Winston