The Satire! TMOnce gain find ourselves in the embarrassing position of having to issue an apology.
In a previous apology we erroneously stated that our top correspondent Mr. Charles Mingles esq was 49 years old and a buffty.
Mr. Mingles is of course rampantly heterosexual as his lovely wife (female) and neighbours will testify.
This is completely untrue and we of course offer a weary sorry to Mr. Mingles, his family, and his fictional lover.
We also issue an unreserved apology to cock jockeys in general for any offence caused.
This information was compiled by a contributor who came highly recommended to us from the BBC's Flagship current affairs programme Newsnight.
He has since been sacked and we wish him every success at his new position at The Guardian.