(Pictured: Robson Green as Dr Tony Parsley.)
From the team who brought you the hugely popular "Rosemary & Thyme" now comes ... Parsley & Sage.
Tony Parsley is an occult herbalist. Theodora Huffington Sage is a wise wiccan woman and pagan astrologist. Together they solve crimes. Mainly missing persons and divorce cases.
Starring Robson Green and Caroline Quentin.
Speaking exclusively to 'The Satire' relaxing on set between takes, star of the show Robson Green told us, "What they do is pretty routine work to be honest. I mean, at best they'll get a brief sense of achievement when they catch an unfaithful husband. But it's quickly replaced by the realisation that another marriage is now over. And what about the poor kids? Plus, everyone knows missing persons cases rarely end well ..."
To be frank, it's all thoroughly draining and depressing stuff. I'm on tranquilisers now. And my GP is pretty sure it's all down to filming this series."
"The thing is - it was all going so fucking well. I've just got re-married. We've got a new baby on the way. We've just moved into a lovely new home with a beautiful garden. And there are all of these great local amenities for the older kids. For the first time in years my ex-wife and I are on really good terms and her and Jenny get on like sisters!"
"But it's all turned to shit now, since I've been working on this show."
"Don't write this bit down, but I've started drinking again. And seeing prostitutes. I pay them to humiliate me. It's the only way I can find any sort of peace from the screaming despair that now prowls around my head 24/7. Please help me. For the love of Christ, please help me!"
Parsley & Sage. Sunday nights. ITV1. 9pm.
(Viewers please note: the opportunity for the above-named characters to demonstrate, discuss or display any occult, wiccan, magic or supernatural powers, visions or extra-sensory perceptions of any kind is not utilised in any of the storylines, visuals, sub-plots or peripherals of this series - merely in the title itself.)