( Barack Obama: Attempting to levitate the whole of America out of the shit)
From Our Washington corespondent Chuck Mingles
Barack Obama's Train of change crashed to a spectacular halt yesterday, as millions of ordinary hard working Americans awoke to the realisation that it was going to be the same old shit with a different boss.
Disgruntled former Obama campaigner Mike Delaney(35) a Stevedore from Philadelphia woke up this morning and found to his disappointment that he still had bills to pay.
" I mean is this the shit what I busted my ass to get Barack elected for for christsakes?" He promised us change. He is just another lying politician. Apparently I will still got to pay my bills after he gets sworn in. What bullshit is this?" Asked Delaney angrily from his clearly dilapidated house. "And my wife is STILL a fat bitch!" He added ruefully.
Mr. Delaney is sadly typical of many disaffected voters all over America. According to a CNN poll carried out last night:
- A staggering 78% of the population still felt that their life was shit.
- An Incredible 69% claimed their kids still hated them.
- A whopping 94% said their neighbors were assholes.
- 60% were shocked to realise Obama was black.
- 75% felt betrayed that the second coming of christ didn't happen.
- 63% agreed with Delaney that their wives were still fat bitches.
- 49% said Obama should fry for what he did on 9-11.
"We at least thought the euphoria would last till after he was sworn in."
Said Obama spokesman Dwight D. Donaldson (48). Asked about Republican calls for The President Elect to prove his nationality Mr Donaldson coughed and said "We are responding to that question as quickly as we can. There seems to be a problem finding Barack's passport. It appears the dog may have eaten it.
Former Republican presidential nominee John McCain commented in reply. "Has anyone seen my glasses? I'm sure I had them. "His wife pointed out they were on top of his head then directed him back to bed.