Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Rommel Was A German, Shocker!!!!!

(General Feld Marschall Erwin Rommel
The smile belies the sinister fact......
He was a German.)

(Above Right: A German......Disgusting!)

The World and particularly dull Daily Mail readers were aghast today at the revelations the hitherto respected Erwin Rommel turns out to be German.
A new exhibition put on by some self loathing revisionist historians in Stuttgart called " The Non German Myth". Aims to shatter the belief that he was in no way a Krauser that went about North Africa shooting people at the behest of his mental, baby eating , mono testicled fuhrer. Or that he was just a decent bloke out for a drive in his Kubelwagen, when he stumbled across a couple of hundred thousand British Soldiers trampling all over wogs and stealing their dates.
Madly badly informed regular rent-a-quote for tabloids, Maureen MacGlinchie of Parkhead fumed "I think it's a disgrace. My Grandad was a bus conductor in Clydebank during the war and saw a UXB in Yoker. I hate to think what could have happened to him because of the Germans. I for one won't be watching anymore films with Mr. Rimmel in them. Or buying anymore of his beauty products. I hope he commits suicide."
Her thoughts were echoed by Edna McScone (71). " I think it's disgraceful as well. My second cousin's wife's granny met a Jew once. He was an awfy nice man so they say. He got knocked down an killed by a BMW in Giffnock. The Germans should be ashamed. Anyway it's these Pakies and Albanians you have to watch. They are everywhere."
Old soldier and former Desert Rat, Hughie  MacWheezey (86 ye know) was never fooled however. He remembers the time he was captured and cruelly interrogated by the Desert Fox outside Tobruk in 1942. Speaking from the British Legion club in Larkhall he told The Satire. "All this guff about him being a gallant hero and a gentleman is just complete nonsense. I remember him goose stepping up to me, fixing me with an evil stare and saying, "Vot iss your name?" I knew right there and then he was a sausage munching kraut scumbag and not to be trifled with. So I told him everything. His eyes were really close together. I think he might have been a catholic as well. None of yous are Tims are you? Winston Churchill. He had the right idea with the Irish you know."
The exhibition continues and will be followed up in April with " Uncle Joe Stalin-He wasn't that bad a bloke."


Anonymous said...

Liebe Satire,

I agree totally with Frau MacGlinchie. The man was scum. A villainous traitor and deserved his fate.

A. Hitler


Mr H said...

This all smacks of some kind of traitorous activity, which I'm sure the 100% Great British Great Royal Family would heartily disapprove of, were they not already well into their 320 course Christmas Feastivities.

nursemyra said...

Good lord! I always thought he was Polynesian

Anonymous said...

" ... a biting critique on the nature of man and the existential inevitability of failure."

The Neasden Gazette.