From our Washington Corespondent: Chuck Mingles
Barack Obama's train of change continued to rumble down those tracks at breakneck runaway speed yesterday when in a shock move he replaced the curtains in the Oval Office.
The unprecedented move has polarised political pundits who praised and condemned the action in equal measure. A top White House aide, Dwight D. Donaldson, sang the presidents praises to this reporter down the telephone this morning. " I think this sends a clear message that the old regime has gone for good and that a new age is dawning for America. The curtains are merely the tip of the iceberg. I can disclose that their are radical new plans afoot to completely replace the soap dispensers in the toilets as well. I think people will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel for our great nation. One with a new energy saving bulb at that."
Even allowing for the terrible connection it was a strange song with a complete lack of rhyme, rhythm or melody and his guitar was in need of retuning.
Outside the White House rails a big group of naive candy assed liberals hooted, whooped and a hollered and done that stupid dance where you stir a big invisible bowl of porridge with both hands. "We love you Barack!" Shrieked 16 year old, over enthusiastic, unattractive and overweight Sophomore Kelly Bagel, through the railings.
From his home in Hollywood actor Richard Dreyfus sent a televised message to Obama supporters, encouraging them to continue a candlelit vigil for the complete interior redecoration of the Presidents home. "A total lack of vision in the curtain department characterised the last Presidency and contributed to the deaths of thousands in Iraq and Afghanistan. Those days are over and our troops can die proudly in the knowledge that they have a Commander in Chief who cares deeply about drapery." Intoned Mr. Dreyfus. The actor best known for annoying Robert Shaw.
Scathing attacks were launched across the political right today though. The most blistering coming from Talk Radio host Rush Boorman who bellowed, "This proves that Obama is the worst kind of tax and spend liberal, robbing the hard working middle classes of America in order to pay for his Commie curtains. I bet they are red. Mark my words it's the thin edge of the pinko wedge. Today the curtains, tomorrow the soap dispensers, then before you know it heavily armed BATF thugs will storm through your door and redecorate your house with all fagoty pastels and shades. Over my red white and blue curtain draped body!"
President Obama was unavailable for comment as he was printing huge sums of cash to spend on bombing Afghanistan.