Tuesday, 29 July 2008

TV Historian to Wed Dead Scots Hero

Popular Scots TV Historian Louise Buxom shocked viewers last night by announcing she plans to marry the dead Scottish folk hero William Wallace.

Curvaceous Buxom (42) announced the intended nuptials at the end of her popular Scottish history show last night on satellite tv station BBC Scotia.

The comely Buxom is popular with viewers for her tales of brave kilted heroes, and for peppering the stories with her own particular brand of fruity innuendo.

And the bootylicious history buff is regularly heard to remark upon what a big strapping fellow Wallace must have been and how she'd ' ... love to cuddle up to his fine big bannocks on a cauld crofter's nicht!' etc.

Regular viewers were said to be shocked and amused in equal measure. Though to be fair, the ones we spoke to seemed both bored and disinterested in far higher proportions.

But alaying fears, the risque thick-set spinster cackled, ' I don't know whit all the fuss is aboot. Michty me, I've had the big laudie's cock in a jar on my dressing table for years. I bought it on ebay.

'This is just the logical next step in a healthy and loving modern relationship.' said the clearly unhinged and soon to be unemployed mad woman.

(Photo above: Buxom outside her Morningside home yesterday. Sponsored by ebay)

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