Sunday, 9 November 2008

Puppy Sales Up 300 Percent

Sales of puppies have gone up 300% in Scotland since Barack Obama’s historic acceptance speech earlier in the week.

Heavily-overweight, unattractive housewife Maureen McGlinchie told us, ‘I’m very gullible and believe all my problems will be solved by buying a puppy. Just like yon coloured-fella who works in the White House.’

Unfortunately, the increase in new puppy sales has been exactly cancelled out by folk taking back their old puppies.

Heavily-overweight, unattractive housewife Maureen MCGlinchie told us, ‘ I’m very gullible and was so inspired by yon coloured fella’s speech about change that I decided to swap the puppy for a new DVD-recorder instead. I’m still not happy. Cage the black beast, I say.’


Anonymous said...

Im absolutely disgusted with this scurrilous ad offensive piece of ill researched and entirely inaccurate gonzo journalism.
I have been married to Maureen for 10 years and assure you that she is crabbit and has bad breath as well.

Yours Mr. D MacGlinchie


Anonymous said...

Dont forget my terrible personality and easily-riled bigotry - you stupid cunt.

Your loving wife, Maureen.